I’ve written this post over and over again and deleted it
because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to say good bye and I wasn’t ready to
let all the memories I’ve built up go to waste and become a part of my past. I
was raised with you and I was loved by you but I feel like I’ve finally come to
accept what has come to be. Today will be the last time I cry for you. Today
will be the last time I stand in the cold so that you don’t see the hurt in my
eyes, and the last time someone comes out to help me through my tears. Today
will be the day I pass on from that.
I want to thank you for the memories you left me with. I
will always cherish the moments I had with you and remember with a big smile
what you have done for me, and oh what you have done for me. You’ve picked us
all up when we were down, and built the foundation that I will live my life by.
I thank you for being part of my life when I needed you the most, and being the
family I needed when I felt like I had no one else. We shared those moments and
I will always be thankful to you for those. I Thank you for giving me this push
to move on, this final push because if it wasn’t for this push I might have
waited in the cold forever for you to come back into my life and my family’s
life. I thank you for giving me this determination I now feel to better myself,
and in the future my niece, my sister, and the rest of my family will thank you
for this too.
You see because you’ve moved on I now have to be a better
person to fill the spot you have left behind and because of this I will be a
better and more responsive person, a person that we expected you to be. I will
never leave them behind and I will take this fuel and let it drive me for the
rest of my life. I am not sorry nor do I expect you to be, because the only
things I can do is thank you for everything you’ve done. Thank you for the time
and bringing the smiles to our faces. The laughs we shared were real and they
were fun but sometimes times change and people change and there’s no one
responsible for that… It’s okay.
Beyond that I want to tell you some words that I can never
tell you to your face, and you will probably never see. I want you to know that
it’s okay; it’s okay that you’re leaving, do not worry for us, we will be fine
as I’m sure you will be with your new family. My family will never lack
anything if someone who doesn’t want to be there, isn’t. I want to tell you it’s
okay to move on, because thanks to you we have now moved on. I just want you to
know, and not to worry, because everything is okay.
Finally I want you to know how much I loved you. How much
you meant to me. Because to me you were someone I looked up to the most. I will
never close my door to you, I will always love you and if you need me and your
family I will always be there because I could never do to you what it seems you
are doing to us. You have given me so much, a reason to move forward, a reason
to look back, and a reason to be a better person.
Thank you so much. I love you so much. Goodbye…
